this is not fun but
this is all fine
müssen nur wollen
and then we'll done.

new things

http://inthisdigitalspace.blogspot.com/

if I should die before I wake

How much would it cost to buy into it?

To get my foot started in the door?

I want to think that art for art's sake

or life for life's sake

of food for food's sake

means something other than

my sake for my sake

but buying into anything means

spending on a Thing

as if my wealth were mine.

realizing that my wealth is not mine

comes even with no wealth at all

so

even if I have a life

it cannot be my own

because that would be cheating.

there are only two ends:

myself or not myself

: Who am I to make much of me?

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softenher

ending with a dis
connect

(

)

with a dis
sipated satis
faction

: two sperate static
factions

both are rightwrong
and rightly wronged
(hoping for wronged
rightly)

and once things are rung and hung and dried
they will feel crisper because we forgot
the fabric softener.

those not ghosts are cocoons of ghosts
but at least the war is over now.
at least now we don't have to list deaths
under Category:Casualties
Category:Collateral Damage
now at least there's no Reason to die.

given the choice between death and taxes
I'll choose to live towards death
and pay my taxes.

at it's finest

precious little
little things to worry about
so i'll stick to the larger
and wiser worries
which include
but are not
in a sense
limited to
but may include
and certainly will
be certainties
before i'm through with
beyond these things
stuck distracting
myself from things
otherwise known as
not being
a waste of
precious little time.

Marbles spilt
on linoleum floors

A chair touches
a paper wall

Minute vibrations
signal something lives

Under the rug.

I remember time when we used to watch films
together
or at least
try
to watch them together.

Here's a wave to the good old days
that are scarcely older than today
and maybe
scarcely better.

Everything works for the goodbetterbest.

You cannot be more passive aggresive than writing.

a toast (pre.emp.tive.ly)

I feel a rift approaching -
one that only needs uncovering
as the foundation's laid and set -
as we're set in motion towards it.

Good luck to you and you
Here's to the new You

cheers.

A toast to last
until we find the bottom of the ravine
and can begin to crawl ourselves out of it.

I won't say that it's unbearable
because it's not un-
bearable.

But it begs to be
to be laid bare
like my own bed
lays
alone.

As I barely
lay my head
and ruffle sheets
before I realize
that sleep will not come soon
enough.

Given a moment before I pass
into dreams
I consume myself
with thoughts of you.

Thoughts of you that
make me feel that next year
will never come
soon
enough.

optimism strains in searching: something real
something almost more than this.
lyrical-ish verses-ish make me uncomfortable
in their inability to express what I feel
-ish
perhaps a signal for turning to prose -
only that too fails here. everything is failing here.
language is falling apart at its seems
as its stitches dissolve
and its insides fall out and begin to unravel themselves.
not uraveling themselves (which would indicate an agency)
but rather that they are themselves unraveling.
unmotivated entirely.

optimism strains in searching for
motivation for anything.

on the bright side

finding yourself between a rock and a hard place

means at least you found yourself.

rendering to scripts

a shift (from emotions)
lines blurrd:friends/loves:
love friends.

.limited typesetting possible.
enter: Unloved Lover
stage left.no.right
wrong(!)
but from the right
though she's a leftist

opposite (means never
[better])

clever though. clever.

Almost Sleeping

It's worse in the dark:
the fear of spending the night
asleep.

of spending hours without
thoughts of you.

I'll loop memories
as I pain myself to sleep.
Trying to see inside eyes.

Something besides the prospect
of falling asleep
and leaving thoughts to dreams of chance.

borrowed from Brecht

Today I met a girl I used to see who said (excitedly):

you haven't changed

a bit.

I said out loud that neither had she

and couldn't help but feel that I had

failed.

Rumor Has It

Rumor has it.
Which means I lost it
along the way.

Or maybe (!) he just stole it.
Either way:
I'm failing to find
the phrase.

If you come across the rumor
and he still has the words in tact,
please ask for my
I Love You
back.

LOUD

birthday gifts

For your birthday I bought you perfume
that everyone in the store turned to smell again
a pair of shoes
that were expensive enough to prove they were stylish
a watch
with a lifetime guarantee.

After my birthday I promise
to smell better
dress better
and be on time.